The Pause

For me, and I suspect at least some of the crew of 20+ who stayed at the Kehlet Mansion/Meeks Bay for the best wedding weekend I’ve ever witnessed, the energy on Sunday was somewhat connected to the exhaustion and both the alcohol and emotional hangovers everyone was beginning to recover from; for our newlywed couple, it was in fact the first day of the rest of their lives.  For others, it was the last day of summer before school started, and for so many more unmentioned, it seemed like either the day after something ending or the day before something new began.  For all intensive purposes, it was the lull day, and based on the conversations I was having with everyone I spoke with, it seemed like the event or the location didn’t make a difference because everyone was feeling the same energy.

It was as though the 24th was the last day of summer and the 26th was the first day of fall, and the 25th was just this calm, almost motionless, pause of a day in between.  I know fall doesn’t technically start until September 22nd, almost a month away, but I feel this energy every year, right around the time school starts; even when I’m not in school, I was enough of a nerd my entire life that I always looked forward to starting school and the long, too-hot summer finally starting to cool down, and in a place like Reno-Tahoe, you can always tell if school’s in or not based on how busy things are at the lake.  This year, that energy seemed to be even more pronounced because of the summer adventure I was on, and the wedding weekend serving as a huge culmination, and final event, of this wild summer ride.  I may have mentioned before, this wedding was the one and only thing that I was certain of all summer, or all year for that matter; I knew my plans would change, the destinations of my trip would vary, and that the future was a grand mystery, but I also knew that no matter what, I would be in Tahoe to celebrate the wedding of two of my dearest friends.  And now it’s over.

I’ll admit, I got a bit sad that this weekend that we’ve spent the last year looking forward to has come to it’s end.  All the anticipation and work and planning are done, and now we have only our bright, sparkling, and mysterious futures to look forward to.  Unlike in the past, where I’ve been made nervous by the thought of not knowing exactly what’s to come, or even worse, not having plans in place for my future, my sadness has stemmed only from feelings of withdrawal from the most incredible, loving, accepting, and all-around, stunningly beautiful people (and setting) that I’ve probably ever been lucky enough to find myself in.  But in that respect, it has been a bittersweet ending.  If this weekend felt like the culmination of my summer trip, then I am so happy to reflect on what an incredible summer it has been.  If this weekend is the energy that sets the intention for the next season, the next adventure, and the life I am creating, then wow, I am looking forward to what is to come.  If this weekend was just a snapshot into the life I have, then I know that I am loved, am filled with love, and am absolutely surrounded by love, and I can only be blissfully overwhelmed by the love that permeates my entire life.  

Sunday was one of those days… one of those days where every time you come into the living room, it’s just a different arrangement of people lounging on the couch, every room you go into feels like a calm, cozy, little home for whomever resides there, and everywhere you go, people are quietly embracing and enjoying each other’s company.  I spent time alone on Sunday on a rock perfect for contemplation – huge, flat, smooth, comfortable, and perfectly situated between land and water.  While I was lying there reflecting on the summer and the weekend, I watched the clouds float by in a fast and constant motion, transforming into different story-telling shapes projected from my imagination.  Eventually I realized I was surrounded by an unusually concentrated amount of dragonflies – at least 15-20, but probably more because they were flying so densely around me.  At the time I didn’t know what the meaning and symbolism of dragonflies was, but at the end of this story, I’ll share what I’ve learned since then… 

When I drove back to Reno with Jessica yesterday, we mused over the enchanted weekend we had just experienced, and like usual, discussed the various energies we had noticed throughout.  The in-between, calmness of Sunday was definitely one of the topics, and our discussion helped shine even more light on the day’s energy...

   Fire!  We’ve been in the peak of fire season, and unlike the past weeks where the smoke has lingered in the valley, leaving the lake untouched, this weekend was smoky!  Most of the weekend you couldn’t see across the lake, and sometimes even beyond the bay, because the smoke was so thick; but for those se who could ‘see’ (breath) past the heavy smoke that enshrouded us, it lent an air of mystical enchantment.  In nature, fires burn away the dried, fallen, and dead debris that has accumulated, and in doing so, it clears away what is no longer serving the ecosystem, allowing for the rebalancing of nature, and replenishing the soil in a way that will allow for new growth.  Symbolically and astrologically speaking, fire represents the same thing – burning away the old that no longer serves us, so that we can create space that will allow for new growth to flourish.  The fires of the past two weeks, and most particularly of this weekend, definitely seemed to represent what so many people had been experiencing – burning away old ideas, breaking out of past patterns, unleashing from old energy, confronting and releasing blockages from the past that no longer serve a purpose… energetically speaking, we’ve been burning through the old in preparation for what’s to come.  Both Jes and I were able to recognize how present this energy had been for both of us and for so many of the people we’ve been around; personally, it appears that the summer was spent on a massive burning spree, clearing away with such intensity, that upon my return to Reno, it's been pretty much surrounded and covered by smoke the entire time I’ve been back.

   In astrology, the signs cycle in the order of - fire, earth, water, air, and this cycle has recently been a topic of much discussion in my life.  If it had been feeling as though we were in an extended or emphasized fire time, it would be natural to feel as though we are now moving into earth.   The fall season represents so much earthiness – the changing of the leaves, the settling from the hot, busy summer into the calmer, cooler fall, the land that has been recently burned begins it’s cycle of replenishing, and so on.  Astrologically and symbolically, earth represents manifesting, healing/health, materialism (as in physical actuality, not just in theory or thought), and bringing things to fruition.  The fire clears the space so the earth can develop it.  Discussing what the fall would hold for us, I realized I had spent time writing on Sunday about exactly what I wanted it to be for me – a time of creative exploration, a time to bring all the ideas I’ve been working on into fruition, a time to return to the land I felt most strongly connected to, and a time to really delve into the lifestyle I’ve been working towards creating.  (For those of you curious about my post-summer plans, the specifics will be unveiled in due time…)  Similarly, listening to her plans and discussing the plans other people had shared with us, there definitely seems to be an energetic move towards earth.  And on Monday, after our return to Reno, we had an earthquake.  Undeniably, if Sunday was our lull between summer and fall, fire and earth, then the almost 5.0 earthquake we experienced on Monday was like some cosmic joke on behalf of the universe, driving the point home to make sure we were listening.  

The lull of Sunday, while not so dramatically emphasized as it was that day, seems to be carrying into the week as we transition away from summer and towards fall.  Turning my focus towards writing, energy work, and unpacking/repacking, I looked into what the dragonfly symbolizes and this is what I found, in sum: 
The dragonfly symbolizes changes, transformation, and self-realization; often sourced in mental and emotional maturity and understanding a deeper meaning of life.  It’s ability to fly in every direction with less effort than most other small, winged creatures represents it’s power, poise, and adaptability.  It’s iridescence, which appears as different colors depending on the light it’s in, is symbolic of the end of one’s self-created illusions through removal of inhibitions and doubts, unmasking the real self to reveal a clear sense of identity.  The dragonfly also only spends a very limited amount of it’s life in flight, which exemplifies living in the moment, with awareness and no regrets.  Furthermore, the dragonflies’ 360* vision allows one to see beyond their limits for uninhibited vision.  With a focus on the emotions, the dragonfly represents joy, lightness of being, and an invitation to delve deeper into your feelings.  Other words associated with the dragonfly are prosperity, harmony, happiness, courage, purity, strength, and agility.  And finally, to the Japanese, the dragonfly is a symbol of late summer and early fall.  

Right before we left the cabin, we did a final prayer, expressing gratitude for where we were and what was to come, and noting the power of a personal new year, whether that comes in the form of an event, a decision, a birthday, a seasonal change, etc; the phrases that stuck out to me were “chase the dream” and “hearts are exploding.”  So whether you were at the wedding weekend extravaganza or not, to anyone who might’ve been feeling connected to that shifting energy, the pause seems like a good time to pose the question… As we move away from the transformative burning of fire, into the time of creating, healing, manifesting, and growth of earth, what do you want the fall to hold for you?  If this weekend was any indication, it is bound to be amazing!